Thursday, November 18, 2010

20 Questions

I'm playing along with Pip from Meet Me At Mikes...

20 questions...

1. Sweet or Savoury? Sweet! Especially fruit!
2. Dresses or Jeans? Neither I like skirts:)
3. House or Apartment? House. Mainly for the backyard for the kids otherwise I'd be happy in an apartment.
4. Shop Online or Offline? Online. There's so much more available.
5. DVDs or downloads? Downloads. They take up less space and the kids can't scratch them.
6. Cocktails or Juice? Juice. I'm a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.
7. Chocolate or Strawberry? Chocolate! Mmm chocolate.
8. Laptop or PC? Laptop. I like being able to move around the house.
9. Magazines or Newspapers? Magazines. Although the only magazines I read are food and craft related lol.
10. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook! I tried twitter but got bored with it fast.
11. CDs or MP3s? MP3s for the same reason as DVDs...
12. Kids or Pets? Neither or both depending on the day lol. They both have the ability to make my heart mushy or drive me freaking crazy!
13. Macaron or Cupcakes? Cupcakes at this stage. I've never had a macaron...
14. Walk or Run? Walk! I look like an idiot when I run lol.
15. Breakfast in Bed or Breakfast Out? Out. If I can go somewhere that does a great breakfast. There aren't many good cafes near here:(
16. Market or Supermarket. If there was a decent market closer by then market.
17. Sourdough or Grainy? Grainy.
18. Heels or Flats? Flats! I haaaaate wearing heels!
19. Late Nights or Not? Late nights. I've always been a night owl.
20. Coffee or Tea? Neither. I don't like hot drinks. Water is my drink of choice, boring I know lol!

Anyone else want to play along?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Savoury Golden Sausages

This recipe was a winner with my kids! Lou liked it so much that she taught herself to say "sausaaaage" while pointing at the pot and signing for more.

Savoury Golden Sausages

750g Sausages

1 grated carrot

1 tbs sugar

2 tbs soy sauce

1 onion, chopped

2 tbs plain flour

1 tbs Worcestershire sauce

2 tbs vinegar

1 tbs chopped parsley

Boil sausages until cooked through then slice thickly. Mix together flour, sugar, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce and vinegar. Add 1 1/2-2 cups of water, salt and pepper. Place sausages in casserole dish and add onion, carrot and parsley. Pour over sauce. Cook in oven at 180 degrees for 1 1/2 hours. Serve with rice or mashed potatoes. Enjoy:)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sixteen Months

My baby is slipping away quickly, soon to be replaced with a toddler so I'm savouring every squishy moment:)

Check out the difference sixteen months makes!

Lou minutes old having just made her speedy entry earthside

and Lou sitting on the same spot she was born, sixteen months later

Don't you wish you could freeze time sometimes and keep them just as they are!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Something That's Been Weighing On My Mind

I've read a few blog posts recently about fat acceptance/healthy at every size (HAES) and I'd like to blog about it from the other side. Most of those bloggers write about being criticised for not being thin. I've lost a lot of weight since my second daughter was born. I now weigh less than I did when I was 15 and I have lost count of the amount of comments I've received about how "fantastic" I look and how "awesome" it is that I've lost so much weight. It's not fantastic, this wasn't' deliberate weight loss and it is definitely not a sign that I'm healthy. The last time I weighed this much I had not finished growing!

When I tell people how I lost the weight: stress, single parenting, breastfeeding, they gloss over it and return to how "fantastic" it is, despite me trying to tell them that it's not a healthy weight loss and that I'm tired.

I've had the hardest nine months of my life. My marriage has broken up. I've been solo parenting two young children who don't sleep. I don't always get a chance to eat properly because I'm focused on taking care of them. I've been breastfeeding and or pregnant continuously for almost four years now. My weight loss is a sign that my body is under a lot of pressure.

I am wasting away from stress. That is not a good thing!

When someone commented on my weight loss and I told them that it wasn't a good thing and I hoped I wouldn't be this weight this time next year and that I was so exhausted that I could barely get out of bed, they said "oh no you don't want to put that weight back on, don't say that!"

The comments also make me feel bad about how I looked before. I never used to feel bad about myself or my body before all this loss, but these comments make me question how I used to look and what people thought of me then?

Instead of trying to convince me how great it is to be a size ten when I have massive dark rings under my eyes and I'm stressed out of my mind, how about offering to help me out at dinner/bed time so I have a chance to eat when my children are going to bed? Or cooking me a healthy meal? Or just responding to me with "I'm sorry you're feeling crap" instead of "it's fantastic (that you feel like crap coz at least you're skinny)."

Whether you're a size 10 or a size 18 it doesn't necessarily mean you're healthy or unhealthy. If someone tries to tell you that they're exhausted and that they don't get to eat properly, it's probably an indicator that they're not healthy. Why do we have to comment on people's weight at all? Why can't we ask each other how we feel and focus on that.

HAES blog posts

Talking about diet talk - Spilt Milk

An anthropologist on Mars - The Shapely Prose

Imperfection - The Shapely Prose

Don't You Realize Fat Is Unhealthy? - The Shapely Prose

35 simple ways to be beautiful - Adios Barbie

Monday, September 13, 2010

Respecting Childrens Boundaries

Excuse me while I have a bit of a vent, but this has been bugging me for a looong time. Why don't people respect the personal boundaries of children? You wouldn't go up to a strange adult you didn't know and pat them on the head or try to pick them up of give them a hug. So why is it okay for you to do that to my children?

You also wouldn't pat a strangers dog without asking the owners permission first and yet people are always patting my children without asking their or my permission first.

Iris in particular is very wary of strangers and really doesn't like being touched by anybody and yet the colour of her hair seems to attract random petting. If she's yelling "Go away! Don't touch me!" please leave her alone and don't touch her (really pretty simple). Just coz they're cute, doesn't mean they're friendly (much like strange puppies!). Maybe my daughter needs to bite someone to get some recognition of her personal boundaries?

I would really like for my daughter to learn that when she says "don't touch me" she will be respected. It's really important for her to know that it's okay to say "don't touch me" and that her wishes need to be respected by others when it comes to personal boundaries.

The next person that pats my daughter on the head might find that I am going to do the same to them...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Totally Hooked!

I tried a number of times over the years to learn to crochet but had never been successful until recently. A blog that I read started a granny square a day challenge and that inspired me to try learning again. With the info from the blog and the help of a friend who patiently sat by my side and talked me through it I finally began to get the hang of crochet and before I knew it I was addicted! I undid more than I made at the beginning but I'm finally getting to the point where I can complete something that looks halfway decent.

I've got two big projects on the go at the moment. The first is a rainbow blanket for baby Lemiwinks. I'm about 2/3 of the way finished so far.

I chose to make it a giant granny square and not try to do anything too complicated because it was the first big crochet project I embarked on and I didn't want to stuff it up or give up halfway because it was too hard.

The second big project I'm working on is a blanket for myself. It's going to be made up of lots of smaller squares that when put together look like a waterlily pond in a garden. Here are the 7 squares I've completed so far. There will be 142 squares all up:-0

This blanket has been really challenging but in a good way. I feel like I've really been improving my crochet and pattern reading skills while working on it. I'm estimating it's going to take about 6-12 months to finish if I keep working at the pace I am now.

I'm trying to resist the urge to start anymore projects until I have at least finished Lemiwinks blanket but I swear I have crafting ADHD and find it hard not to lose focus and start something new every second week.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Single Attachment Parenting

My situation is unique, well, I haven't met any other attachment parents who are single and planning to homeschool their children. I'm lucky that I have supportive family and friends nearby, but it's still really difficult to meet my children's needs and take care of myself enough to remain an attachmed mum.

For Lou, being an attachment mum mostly means co-sleeping and breastfeeding on demand. For Iris, who has only just self-weaned and is a very sensitive child, it means trying to stay connected with her, and to meet her needs in a gentle way.

Some days after trying to meet my children's needs from dawn until dusk I just want to run down the street screaming "Get away from me! Stop touching me! Stop having needs!" ;P But at the same time it has still been worth the work because the impact of having their father move out has been cushioned by the fact that I am connected to them and have worked hard to remain connected to them, through attachment parenting.

In the process of trying to meet my children's needs, on my own, and not taking care of myself properly while I was doing it, I almost gave myself a breakdown. It's also very hard being a single parent to two young children who need me so much, because sometimes I have to make a choice between which child to care for first, or who needs me the most.

As supportive as family and friends have been, it's really been hard when I've been struggling, basically the only suggestion I received was to put my children in childcare and "let someone else deal with them." While I was having a really, really hard time, struggling with the kids, there was a while there where I struggled to get out of bed, someone told me that I should put my girls in childcare and that they would be "better off with someone else" than to be at home with me while I was struggling. It really hurt to hear that somebody who I thought cared about me thought my children would be better off in the care of stranger than with me!

Putting them in childcare would not have solved my issues or theirs! 1) How would it be better for them to be detached from me when they had already lost their Dad in the past few months? And 2) how would that solve any of my mental health issues? All that would do would increase my guilt because they would be in a childcare situation that I didn't want them in. And for them it would mean being separated from their full-term parent who they have spent everyday with since birth.

All the judgments on my ability to parent my children didn't just come from friends and family, they also came from medical professionals. Despite seeing that my children were well loved and cared for they still questioned why I chose to parent the way that I do. When I had to take Lou to hospital the staff were shocked to see that I was an attachment parent and a single parent. They tried to treat me like a dumb stereotype of a single mother, like I couldn't possibly know what was best for my child. They spent hours lecturing me on the "risks of co-sleeping" and breastfeeding my baby to sleep. It must be awful for other single parents who go in there with a sick child, who don't have the supportive people that I had with me, or who aren't as well informed or prepared to stand up to the staff. They also gave me attitude, asking me where my child's father was, despite already being told that we were separated.

I continue to attachment parent because I know it's what's best for my children, especially when their lives are being turned upside down. This is when they most need to feel secure attachment. Being an attachment parent has always been important to me. But now that I'm a single parent, the principles of attachment parenting are even more important!
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